Piper after the last episode of the tv show
by khb
Summary: I am from Norway and are not so used to writing in English. But I hope you like my story anyways. This story is mainly about Piper and Alex:)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Piper suddenly felt dizzy and was forced back to conciesnes. What's going on? She looked down, there was Pennsatucky completely lifeless. Piper knew she was just about too collapse, she put her hand to her stomach and felt something hot and sticky. It was the last Piper knew before she fainted.

2 days later:

Piper wakes up slowly, she hears a beeping sound at the right ear. What is this? Is it Claudette who's got a new ricemaker? Piper struggles to open her eyes, why won't they react? As she wakes up she begins to sense a different reality than prison. It hurts down her throat, Piper would say something, but can't get it out. She hears a familiar voice saying, Piper, Piper, try to remain calm, someone call for help.

After a few seconds Piper hears a door being opened, an unknown voice asks her to breathe out, and Piper feels something being dragged out of her throat. She coughs, and is given some water. It burns down through her throat.

Piper can finally open her eyes, the first thing she sees is a man in a white coat, he looks intently down at her. She hears a familiar voice and looks to the left, there is Larry, Larry how did he get here? She feels someone take her hand and see Polly standing there with tears in her eyes, and then hear a familiar voice say, "she's awake". Piper feels nauseous and dizzy, and scared. She hear the doctor begin to explain.

You came to us with major blood loss and internal injuries. We have kept you in a coma for 2 days so that your body could recover. We had to open you up to stop the bleeding caused by a razor blade, it was a successful operation. You also have a broken left hand, in two places, we have put on a temporary cast this must be on for 1 week before we put on a more permanent one.

Have you understood all these things I have just told you? Piper nodded gently. Conceded by blade, Piper feels she hardens from within outward. She was attacked by Pennsatucky and took back the way she had been told, what happened afterwards? She looks desperately onto Polly who just cries and cries. She looks at Larry who just stares back. She looks over at her mother, who says; you are in the hospital now sweetie. Piper thinking halfway in coma, typical mom to statuate what the obvious.

Piper feels completely numb, and just wants to cry, she has mostly been sleeping since waking up yesterday. She can not stay awake and take on what happened. She has asked for Pennsatucky, but received no proper answer. She can see in the faces surrounding her that she has fucked up properly, and done something terrible. Who am I?Piper asks herself.

She can not collect her thoughts, when she is awake, she tries to think about what has happened in the recent days, but it's too painful.

She has been told by Polly that Pennsatucky had hidden a weapon with a racerblade, and that she stabbed Piper in the guts with it. And that Piper had been found by a guard named Bennet, who had aired an inmate.

Piper thought about Alex and felt this hollow suction in her stomach. No, she would not let herself be drawn into Alex again, Alex would not have anything to do with her.

Larry visited Piper every day in the hospital, he had probably gotten a real shocker over what happened. Piper suspects him to feel some guilt over it, but none of them mentioned neither weddings, prison or Alex Vause.

Piper just feels so very sad and outside of herself. It did not seem as if anything could make it better. Not Larry, not Alex, not Polly and certainly not her mother.

As the days went by in the hospital and Piper began to perk up, she also began to get very nervous about what awaited her after her discharge from the hospital. She envisioned an infinite number of scenarios. Larry's father had been and talked to her a few times, and made it clear that they were going to claim self-defense. And he had already been in contact with the warden about Healy.

The camera outlooking the yard had captured the incident, and that it was a figure seen who went out and in, and did nothing with what was about to happen. Healy was currently at leave and Mendez was back in the prison.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It had now been three weeks since that night.

Piper had been told that she would be returned to the prison following day. She was going back to Litchfield, not a high security prison. Larry's father had probably been pretty hard on the whole Healy situation. Piper was happy but then again she wasn't. What was she returned to Litchfield to do, she was ashamed of herself and the person she obviously was.

Polly had told her earlier in the day that she was not the same, she was hard in a way, not quite herself. Piper was not sure, maybe this was her, maybe everything before had been only pretends ...

Piper had run out of topics to talk about with Larry, and none of them would take up the heavy stuff. She could see it in Larry that he was burning inside with a lot of thoughts, but nobody said anything. For Piper, there was nothing to say, she did not know who she was and what she felt anymore. She was happy when Larry came, but she no longer knew why or what it meant.

Pipers last thought before she fell asleep that night was, how would it be to see Alex again ...?

Litchfield, 3 weeks ago.

Alex sat and watched the concert with Nicky on one side and Yoga Jones on the other. She felt little excited, rather quite depressed.

Damn, that it would hurt so much. But she had decided this time, she glanced at Piper, enough was enough. Fucking bitch, who did she think she was. Alex could not believe what had happened. They had sat there and talked about a common future, Alex had felt so whole again, she had been so happy. What happened? Suddenly Piper picked Larry? Fucking shit!

Alex was so angry and upset that she was sick. This was the second time Piper had broken her heart, and Alex had trouble catching her breath. How could Piper do this. She had seen and felt that they had something special! Alex shook her head, she had to try to focus on something else, she glanced to the side and saw that Nicky sat and stared at her. She shook her head again and smiled at Nicky, Nicky seemed to be content with the gesture. Alex felt Nicky's hand sneaking down her thigh and looked up, only to look into a couple of horny eyes. Oh well, so this was the way it would be from now, why not, maybe Nicky could numb the pain a bit, Alex was very fond of her.

Alex glances back again, but Piper is gone. Just as well, she felt the anger coming back again.

Caputo stood in the back and looked at the fucking crazy ladies, he was annoyed and disappointed. Fuck off, taking with her a damn boyfriend to his prison! Oh no, he was planning good riddens too that guy! Healy came in behind him and looked all too happy. What the hell was that idiot doing now? Was he also fucking an inmate. Caputo decided to go and check, he headed to the nearest broom closet, just as he's about to make a turn, Bennet and an inmate comes down the hall, one of the Latin. Caputo gives Bennet a warning look, this was the one who had alleged that Mendez raped her, Caputo had his doubts. Bennet responds quickly that Daya is sick and needs to be out to get air. Caputo nods, with his fucking luck she is probably pregnant by now! He shakes his head.

Caputo has not come far into the hallway before he hears people running behind him, he turns and sees Bennet running in front with several guards at his heels. Some stand at the door and makes sure the prisoners keep inside the chapel.

What the hell is going on. Caputo runs towards the noise, and out in the yard, the sight he is met with get him to stop immediately! Two inmates on the ground, blood everywhere! Is there called for an ambulance, he hears himself shout. And get affirmative shouts back. The door behind him opens and the doctor comes running out. They both got pulse, someone yells.

Alex is completely frozen, where is Piper? She hears several of her inmates calling, what is going on. Everyone knows it is something serious! Where the hell is Piper!? She hears Boo follow the same train of thought, where is Chapman and Doggett? Red looks almost afraid.

Alex feels dizzy, she fights her way and see paramedics rushing through the hall. Alex can not imagine, what if, what if. No, it can not be that way.

The door to the yard goes up and out comes ambulance people with a cart, it is Pennsatucky, she's not to recognize, and there is blood everywhere.

Alex begins to cry, she now knows what comes next. The door goes up and she hears lots of commands being shouted. Piper is laying there, all white, eyes closed, Alex can not see if she is breathing. It feels as if something inside Alex dies, it hurts so much, she can not breathe. All she manages to get out is nooooooo!

She can feel of that several of her inmates turns and looks at her, but she does not care.

3 weeks have passed, and Alex and the other prisoners were told at breakfast the next day that both Pennsatucky and Chapman would survive. But they were both seriously injured.

Alex had not slept any the night after the incident, she had been eaten up inside by a pain she never knew was possible. She had played the scene over and over in her head, and had been quite sure that Piper was dead. But Piper was not dead. And it had been three weeks now. While Piper was gone she had thought about her every day. But as time passed and she knew that Piper was ok. The anger she felt came back. Alex felt torn in two, she was tired. The pain she had felt when she thought Piper was gone forever, could not be compared to anything that she had felt earlier in her life. But at the same time she knew she could not trust Piper again, the wound were too deep this time.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Piper felt stiff in all her limbs, and completely mindfucked. She sat there in the car, and as they approached Litchfield prison she felt more and more that she was unable to breathe. The guard who was sitting next to her gave her a worried look, are you alright inmate?

Piper shook her head vigorously, stop the car, I have to get out. The car stopped suddenly and Piper was quick to get out, she threw up everything she had of gastric contents, and then some. She was absolutely giddy when she was done, and the wound on her stomach was unspeakable painful. She was helped into the car and had to sit back for not passing out.

After having arrived at Litchfield prison she is shown into a cell with three others, Piper finally could lie down, she fell asleep immediately, exhausted.

She was awakened by Bennet standing over her, hey are you okay inmate? She had been sleeping for 3 hours, she was told. Bennet tells her it's lunch and that she must come.

Piper is anxious, feeling miserable and in pain. She feels this hollow suction in her stomach again at the thought of seeing Alex. Their previous meeting's just painful to think about.

She can hear the hum from the other prisoners as she approaches the dining room. She looks across at Bennet who just nods at her. Piper hears a murmur through the whole room as she goes in, and then it becomes still. Until she hear chairs being scraped against the floor and feel arms around her. Piper can not hold back, she starts crying, crying hard and bad, before she stops abruptly. She looks up and sees Alex standing there looking at her, she's not coming to say hi like the others, Piper sees the pain in her eyes. She takes her tray and throws it away before she walks out of the dining room. Bennet does not stop her. Piper looks at her and feel a pain spread across her chest. She gets pulled back to reality by Boo who pulls in her, and says that they have thought about her. They drag her over to the table and arrange food for her. Piper feels at home and loved. A little thought creeps into her mind, how can it be that right here, right today, in Litchfield prison is the first time that she feels this. Piper doesn't not have time to think a lot more before she gets bombarded with questions , and different theories about what happened that night.

Piper knows that she loves her fellow inmates here, and feels better than she has done before, since that night. She notes that Nicky sneaks away after Alex, is that how it is now, Piper feels the hurt in knowing Alex has been with Nicky.

But who is she to say anything about it. She knows not upside down on herself.

After lunch Piper is brought back to the temporary cell again. She falls asleep immediately and awakens yet another time by Bennet standing over her. He looks a little worried down at her, but says nothing. Just show her that she must follow him. Now I get to hear how it is and what will happen to me, Piper feels nervous. She is shown into the office of Caputo, he looks up when she comes in, and he actually looks a little worried for her.

I hear you sleep a lot, are you all right? Piper nods, she can't say anything, she feels completely numb and in the same time torn apart. Caputo looks at her again, I think we'll make this short. As you already know it's a judge looking at your case and the incident, on what happened that night, so we'll await the reply from there. And see if you get any prolonged your sentence. Piper looks down, she turns red with shame. Caputo sees this and it gets a little quiet. You will not receive any visitors or phones within the time awaiting the answer from the judge. Piper just nods, she does not know if she is upset or relieved by this.

Caputo goes on, you have got your old bunk back. Piper feels this makes her somewhat happy, until she remembers that Claudette is not there anymore.

Bennet follows Piper back to her old bunk, and says that she can lie down and relax for the rest of the day. From the morning of, she can try to get to work.

Piper awakens this time to someone talking to her. Yo, girl, how you doin? She opens her eyes and sees Taystee standing over her. Piper gets up slowly, what are you doing here? Taystee looks a little offended at her, I live here. Piper knows she is relieved, Taystee, Piper may very well share a room with her. She smiles slightly and Taystee smiles back. You alright girl!

So that's up and finished. Piper allows herself a small smile and lie down again. She closes her eyes again and suddenly she thinks about Alex and how she reacted today, the familiar pain that fills the entire body comes back. What is this? Piper has never known pain like this before. She turns over in bed with a sigh. Alex ...

Alex lays in her bunk, it feels as if she must puke. She crouches down, the pain is not to bear. Piper was back, she looked so good, yet so wounded. It was written all over her. Alex just felt this huge pain in her chest. She twisted in bed, but nothing helped. The pain was there constantly. She hears someone coming, and felt she was getting irritated, this moment I need for myself she thinks.

Alex opens hers eyes and sees Nicky coming. Hello, Vause, is everything all right with you? Alex feels aggravated by her presense, she has felt Nicky being a mistake a long time now. She turns away and asks Nicky to go, she knows she is hurting her but can't grasp it now. It will have to be for later.

2 days have passed since Piper came back.

Alex has done everything she can to avoid her. The lunch at the same table is a pain. She can see it in Piper that she also finds it painful. Alex thinks a lot of Piper and what has happened.

She knew that Piper was not the angel everyone thought, but she did not know she could fight like that. Piper had always been a hothead, she had perhaps managed to fool everyone into thinking she had put it behind her. But Alex knew better. Nobody knew Piper as well as Alex did. At least not Larry. Alex gets a little sick every time she remembers Larry.

The more Alex thinks about it, the more she struggles to put her desire for her and Piper being together at ease. Nicky has stayed away from her, but she knows she must confront it. Alex swallows hard and goes to find Nicky, she is sitting, half laying down inside the library. Alex nods to her and Nicky nods back, more are not needed. Nicky has grasped it, she looks a bit out of in and goes out.

Alex finds herself a book and sits on the floor behind the shelves. Here she was the first time she and Nicky took note. Fuck this, why did we mess this up! She says aloud to herself. No, I do not know, Nicky looks down at her. She sits down next to Alex, fuck it, lets forget about all that shit. I have always known that you have met the love of your life. I have too, just that mine is not so hysterical difficult as yours. I pay for mine, and she does what I want afterwards. Nicky grinning over her reference to Piper and heroin. Alex shakes her head and pounds Nicky in the shoulder. Well I'm glad that something is back to normal.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

As the days go by Piper slowly slips into familiar habits, it feels good. Get up, go to work, play some games, sleeping. The same thing over and over every day. She thinks quite a lot after she has settled down every night. Piper does not know much, but she has understood that she she is madly in love with Alex, and she has strong feelings for Larry. Piper feels she owes Larry to be who he thinks she is, but as the days go by Piper knows more and more, that she may never be that Piper again.

She's different now, she has lived for better or worse. And she has felt again, she felt a pain inside her that she had forgotten existed. The last time she had felt like that was when she sat on the plane home after leaving Alex. With Larry the pain was more like guilt pain, with Alex it was tearing her apart.

Now that Piper had gotten better she had been put on toilet duty again, as much as she hated it, it also felt a bit like making amends for some of her shit.

Piper has decided that she will not be with anyone right now, but no one could decide who or what she was thinking about when she went to bed every night. And she was often daydreaming a little, but were usually interrupted by Taystee crying out what she was lying there smiling about!? No horny business in my room! She could yell so loud Piper could feel her face turning red.

Piper had to smile thinking about Taystee her room mate. She does not say much Taystee, but it is a pain under there somewhere, Piper can see it.

Piper is as usual up early and going to the showers, she has just started to mop up when she hears steps. She turns and sees Alex, none of them know what to say. Alex mutters something about going to the toilet, and snaps into the stall with the door. Piper feels the blood rush in her ears. She was not waiting to see Alex here, as well as so close. She leans against the wall unsure of what to do. Just when she decides to go, Alex comes out. She looks at Piper and say; fuck you. Piper does not know what to say, but can't stop herself now that Alex is so close. She goes slowly over to Alex and puts her lips gently against hers, she feels Alex taking a deep breath, and pushing her tongue into Pipers mouth. They are like stuck together, like they can never get enough. Alex holds Piper so hard she can hardly breathe. Piper feels every cell in her body pulsating. Suddenly Alex tears them apart, she looks completely broken at Piper and then turns around and runs away.

Piper can literally feel her heart bleeding and breaking. In the same time she is so happy. She loves Alex ...


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Piper has to use all of her will power no to just throw the mop away and run after Alex. She can hardly concentrate and she I convinced she literally feels the blood rush through her veins. How can it be that Alex is the only one that can mess up her body like this, both good and bad… 

Piper struggles threw her chores, and then goes back to the dorm to get her things, and hurries back to the showers, Taystee also goes with her. "What's up with you girl?" "You look a bit funny!" Is this a white folks thing again? Taystee asks her, and gives her a strange look. Piper blushes, her thoughts being with Alex at this point, and how she used to love taking long baths and showers with her. In lack of a good answer she just mumbles to Taystee, looks down and run for the showers. She hears Taystee laughing behind her, " You white girls"

Alex is upset, her whole body shaking, and her mind racing. She feels she don't know what to do with herself. She rushes back to her bunk, and passes Nicky and Red on the way. Hmmm, more "no-lesbian" business I presume, she hears Nicky comment as she runs past. What the fuck just happened, Alex can't believe Piper could do this to her, at the same time, she is so happy. And she is so mad at herself for being happy. Fuck Vause, you have to get over her, she will break your heart again. Ironically it's her heart that won't listen to the reasoning in her mind. Alex finds herself in a situation where she feels she has lost some control. This is new to her, and she is not quite sure what to do with it. Last time she took up a bad habit, heroin. Luckily this was not an option in her, thank god, cause' if it was, she'd sure be tempted.  
Alex finds herself unable to control her body, and decides to do something she hasn't done for years, she goes for a run. It's her and of course runner girl. Alex nods at her, and she just gives her a "what is this" look back. Alex can't help but smile a little, she likes Jenkins, she's got a lot of attitude.  
After three laps, Alex is painfully aware of the fact that her body is in bad shape. I have to go jogging more often she thinks. Her mind is clearer and she has calmed down. She walks as fast as allowed back to the dorm, fetches some clothes and a towel and set off to the showers. As she is walking there she realizes that she has to just fight through this heartache she feels. It's probably the only way to either get over her and Piper, or the only way to find peace with loving her.  
Alex steps into the shower and can't help it when she starts thinking of earlier times with Pipes.  
They used to take long showers and baths together, and usually or no, every time it ended up with them making love. They had a chemistry Alex had never felt with anyone else, not before Piper and not after. Alex was interrupted in her little dream by a loud voice, hello are you going to be finished soon, this ain't your private shower you know. She opened her eyes and could see Sofia standing there looking at her, one arm at her hip and the other one making a gesture to show how impossible she thought Alex were. Alex felt a bit annoyed being interrupted, but couldn't help but smile also. Sofia always made herself sound stern when she talked. Alex figured this could be because she had to fight more to be accepted. Personally Alex couldn't care less about what Sofia used to be, or how she got her boobs. For her Sofia was Sofia, a badass girl that got more guts than most of the people Alex knew.

Alex felt more calm now, and she paused a moment in front of the mirror just to think about what had happened this morning. Piper had kissed her, she knew Piper wasn't really planning to, she had read it all over her face. But it had been intense, and Piper had pressed herself so up against her. Alex had to use all of her will power not to press Piper against the wall and make love to her. But she knew she did the right thing walking away, she could not bear Piper using her again. 

After breakfast she headed of work in the laundry room, when she walked in she could her the other meth heads talking excited to each other, as soon as they saw her the shut up. What? Alex looked at them, what the hell you idiots so excited about. Alex wasn't sure she wanted to know, but she still stood still and looked straight at them, expecting an answer. Leann her roommate took a deep breathe, looked her despiteful in the eyes and said exactly what Alex dreaded the most at this moment. Pennsatucky is better and she will be coming back soon. Alex was at loss, what the fuck was she going to do now. She couldn't let Pennsatucky hurt Piper again. And how the fuck did Pensatucky get away from being sent down the hill. Alex felt this day starting to get on her nerves. She had to talk to Nicky.

Nicky and Red sat in Reds little room and talked. Red was still very upset about what she had done to Gina, and Nicky was trying her best to make her feel better. She didn't like seeing Red like this, none of them was good off if Red broke down. " You couldn't know" she heard herself say, " you had to show you weren't just going to take it". Gina knows this, Nicky knew she did, because she had herself told Gina this, and convinced her Red had done it for them all. Red just shook her head, not quite believing Nicky, but still wanting to.  
Suddenly Alex came walking in, it was just before lunch and she must have been sneaking out to get to them at this time. Nicky instinctively knew it was something bad. Alex looked at them and said without any introduction, Pennsatucky is coming back. Nicky didn't know quite what to say or do, she just knew this was not good. Red stood up, and suddenly looked a bit like old Red. She took command, that little bitch has done enough shit. This time she'll have to answer to all of us. She looked at Alex and Nicky, and Nicky felt a relief. Red was back, the protector of the weak and the dictator from Hell, or Russia to be exact. Nicky smiled and could see Alex looking a bit annoyed at her. No no, she said, relax Vause. 

As Alex walked for lunch she wondered if she really wanted to be involved in anything with Piper again, but deep down she knew she couldn't let anything happened to her either. The world would be all empty without Piper in it. Alex felt sad as she thought this.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

2 days had gone since Piper and Alex met in the showers. Piper felt a bit down, Alex obviously had avoided her and Nicky had told her Pennsatucky was coming back. She felt a bit hurt Alex didn't seem to care about this. How could she be so cold. Piper felt mad, and let down. She knew it was a bit farfetched, but couldn't help it. She was mad.

Piper tried to convince herself that she wasn't scared that Pennsatucky was coming back, but she knew she was.

After lunch this day Caputo called her into his office, and there she was, Pennsatucky. Piper felt her heart miss a beat. Thanks for the heads up, what the fuck was wrong with this place. Piper felt her anger rise, and as Pennsatucky could smell it she shrunk in her chair. Piper looked at Caputo, and he quickly told her to sit down.

So girls, you are both back, thanks to your all so lovely lawyers. He gave them a smile that wasn't really a smile. Piper leaned back, ok what was coming next.

Pennsatucky didn't say anything. Piper didn't say anything. Caputo took a deep breathe.

Ok, listen good girls, I'm so fed up with all the shit going on in this prison. Rape, sex, fighting and fucked up people everywhere. So let me just tell you this, the first one of you to just as much as raise an eyebrow at one another gets sent to psych. Piper felt her draw drop, psych? Caputo just smiled, yeah you heard me right. If I get our shrink to say you need to go to the psych, there is nothing your lawyers can do about it. He gave them a shining smile, now you can leave. Pennsatucky looked scared and just crouched together and walked quickly out of there. Piper stood up and felt dizzy and disorientated. What the hell would happen know. She looked nervously out in to the corridor, was crazy Pennsatucky waiting somewhere for her? But Piper couldn't see her anywhere and stepped out into the hall. As she walked down she felt a bit mighty suddenly, had Pennsatucky been afraid of her? Piper paused for a minute, who was she becoming? Feeling mighty over this. Who was Piper Chapman becoming?

She ran into crazy eyes, Piper still felt really bad about what had happened between them. Fucking Larry, Piper suddenly felt relief about not having to talk to him.  
She tried to smile at Crazy eyes and say Hi to here, but she didn't get anything back. Piper felt bad. She started thinking about what she could do to make crazy eyes not mad at her again.  
She didn't really know her that good, actually she wasn't sure she was in her full mind, but still she liked her. She was a kind person, she had made Piper feel better about herself and prison many times. Piper wondered what the story with Crazy eyes, Suzanne was.  
Then out from nowhere a thought popped into her mind, hadn't she heard Suzanne quote Shakespare sometimes. She could get her a midsummer night's dream and maybe much ado about nothing. This were Pipers favourite stories by Shakespare. They were funny and had love as a theme. She went back to work and sat there pretending to read a manual on how to fix toasters, while she was really planning how to get Suzanne her books.  
After work she went straight to the library and ran into Taystee. Piper offered her some snicker bars to order the books for her. Taystee looked at her friend Poussey, and they started laughing. You all crazy white girl, but ok, throw in a king Cone and it's a deal. Piper gave them one of her best smiles, shook her hand and said deal.  
Happy with herself she walked out of there smiling, she almost walked right into Alex and Nicky. They were talking and didn't see her at first. Alex and Pipers looked eyes, it was as if none of them could look away. Jesus Nicky said, you two are so fucked up. Alex looked away and the moment was over. Piper missed her so, she could feel it in her whole body. Hi she said carefully, Alex just looked at her, fuck Pipes I'm not ready for this yet. And with that she walked past her. Piper just stood there for a long time, what had she done to Alex, what the fuck Piper she said out loud to herself.  
She was disturbed by a voice, Hi Chapman! She turned around and there was Pennsatucky. Piper felt shivers run down her spine. What the fuck did this crazy Jesus freak want now. Pennsatucky just looked at her for a second, than she raised her hand and waved at her, easy, easy. I'm not going to fight you alright. Piper looked at her for a second. What do you want then? She asked, more angry than she first had attended. Pennsatucky looked a bit scared actually. Look, I just want to make peace, I can't go back to Psych OK, I Just can't. So I won't hurt try to kill you again, though you are a fallen angel. Pennsatucky looked so serious while saying it, Piper almost felt she had to laugh. But she didn't want to risk it, so she just said, deal. Turned around and walked away. She didn't quite know what to think. Did the Jesus freak mean what she said, Piper thought she actually did. She found Nicky, Red and Morello in Reds bunk. Things were back to normal, and Red was laying on her back while another woman rubbed her feet. Nicky just looked ironically down at her, well Chapman, what brings you to the suburbs? Piper told them what had just happened, and Red sat up. Hmm… I think you have to start watch it girl, you are changing. Piper looked at her and felt annoyed, what kind of thing was that to say, now that she came with such good news.

Piper went back to her bunk and Taystee and Poussey were sitting there joking around. Piper felt somewhat excited, and decided to joke back at them. She started rapping I like big buts and I can not lie, and at the same time dancing what she thought was hip hop moves. Poussey and Taystee laughed so hard that they fell over. Piper started to laugh to, more people came too, and they all started making sounds and rapping. Taystee knew some beatboxing and made some cool sounds. It was all so funny, that the guards Bennet and Fischer actually stood and watched them for a bit smiling, before they told them to take it easy. Taystee and Pousset looked at each other and laughed, you not so bad for a white girl. They loved to call Piper that.

Alex was walking back to her bunk when she heard a lot of noise coming from the ghetto as they called it. She couldn't help herself, she had to go look. And as she came close she could her cheering, laughing, and was that music of rapping? When she came in, she just stopped and watched, there was Piper in the middle of it. Dancing somekind of hip hop dance, rapping and joking about. She just loved Piper at this moment, this girl she would never stop surprising her. She was something else. Alex smiled a bit as she left when the guards started to break them up.

Back in Pipers bunk Taystee and Poussey was finally starting to calm down, and they could breathe again after laughing so hard. Taystee paused and suddenly she looked at Piper. Your girl was here you know, watching you. I think she really must love you. Because she looked at you with this googly eyes even as you were twitching about like you did. She laughed again. Piper felt a tingle in her stomach, Alex was there, looking at her. After that all she could think about all day was Alex, Alex Vause. Piper Vause…

After she went to bed that night, Piper felt somewhat in at different state of mind. She couldn't really point out what it was. Maybe she had been carrying Pennsatucky and there fall out heavier than she had thought. Piper felt lighter, and suddenly remembered something a professor at her college had said once. If you hold a glass of water in your hand it won't be heavy if you hold it there for five minutes, but if you hold it there for 30 minutes, it will start to feel heavier, and if you hold it there for hours or day, it will feel so heavy it will be painful. She thought about this how true it was. She had to get better at setting the glass down, dealing with her demons, instead of carrying them around.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7.

A week had gone by, and Pipers life consisted of toiletwash, work, food and hanging around with her friends. She had even taken up yoga again. Something she thought Yoga Jones was happy about. She was surprised to find Jenkins there, but she soon realized something had happened between them, at they had a great understanding of eachother. Piper was thinking about this, how strange prison was. How the strangest people would become friends and have this connection that never would have happened on the outside. Like her and Crazy eyes, no Suzanne, she had to get used to using her real name. Respect. A few days ago Pipers books of Shakespare had arrived and she had layed them in Suzanne's bed, on her pillow. In each book she had written, to one poet for another poet.  
May your mind bloom like the lovely buds of May. Love a good friend.  
She hoped crazy.. Suzanne wouldn't misunderstand this, and take her for her wife again. But somehow she didn't think she would, what Suzanne really needed was a friend Piper thought.  
Later that day after having put the books on Suzanne's pillow she went in for dinner, and when she came in she heard a loud yell, Dandelion! And looked over, and there were Suzanne reminding her why she was called crazy eyes. She took to fingers and pointed at her eyes and then at Piper, and then at her eyes again, while she yelled, all good Dandelion, we're all good. The guards starting to move towards her, and she sat down, but still smiled at Piper. Piper smiled back, and felt really happy with herself. One good did for Piper.  
Actually this very episode made Piper think long and hard, because if she had met Suzanne on the outside with Larry, Polly and their friends, they would have taken one look at Suzanne, and then avoided her, and probably make fun of her afterwards. Being as japsy and perfect as they were.  
Piper wondered if prison made her a better or a worse person.

Alex had been hanging low, mostly reading in the library or hanging with Nicky and Morello. Morello had stopped talking so much about her Christopher after Nicky told her off. Alex felt bad for her, she once read something from a Norwegian writer called Ibsen, if you take a persons delusions in life from them, you take their life. She wondered if this would be true in Morello's case. She had been down and flat ever since Nicky said those things too her. And she knew Nicky felt really bad, so she could see her doing everything she could to make up for it. So far it hadn't really worked. Alex looked at Morello and said, I love Italien woman, they are so mysterious. Morello looked at her, Alex wasn't really sure why she had said it. Maybe she hoped it would give Morello someone new to be instead of Christopher bride to be. Morello looked at her for a while, and Nicky just goggled her, as if she had something weird in her face. Then Morello said, yes we are quite mysterious, that's why we don't want to be tied down to one guy. Alex took her finger, shoved her glasses up on her noise, and smiled winningly at Nicky. Whom looked like she was about to fall of the bed. That had been even easier than Alex thought. And suddenly Morello started talking about when she got out, she would go back to Italy, to find her roots. Nicky still looked somewhat in amaze and maybe shock. Finally she shook her head and said. Fuck Vause, you are a good damn magician. Alex was actually impressed by herself too. She thought quietly to herself, what if she could only be so magical with Piper, make her love back as she loved her.

Piper was walking back from work as she got called into Caputos office. Please sit down Chapman, maybe you have heard from your lawyer. But Piper actually hadn't. The judge has looked at your case and I have the verdict her. He pointed at a brown file laying on his table. Piper felt a bit nauseas, and looked at Caputo. Yes, she said are you going to tell me? Caputo looked a bit surprised by her tone but started opening the file.  
Piper could see he was enjoying it a bit, having her wait. Then he said, it's not so bad Chapman, you're lucky. The judge took pitty in you, the whole Healy episode and everything, you got two months added to your sentence, that's it. Piper didn't feel anything at that moment. She had to be two more months in prison, she knew she had been lucky. Larry's father had warned her that in worst case scenario they could be talking years. Piper held her breathe, and then let it out slowly.  
Does this mean I can make calls and have visitation again? Caputo stared at her, he really didn't understand this inmate. He simply said yes.  
Piper walked out. She met Boo in the hall, she was training little Boo in walking in leg position. Piper was impressed how good she was with this dog. Boo stopped, she took a quick look at Piper, then asked. How bad? Piper shook her head, grinned and said. I really don't know, two months added she said. What? You must have silver spoon shoved up your ass Chapman, come her let me look, Boo grabbed hold of her starting to pull her pants. Piper pushed away, then Boo started laughing. You're lucky Chappy, don't you ever forget that. She took little Boo and started training her again. 

Piper continued down the hall and ran into Morello, Nicky and Alex she mas uncertain if she should stop or not. But Alex did, so Piper did also. Alex looked at her, you've heard? Piper knew what she ment, at first she was so happy that Alex was talking to her that she just looked at her. Once again, she heard Nicky say, Jeeesus. And snapped out of it, two more months she said. Nicky, Morello and Alex stared at her. I don't know how you do it Pipes, Alex said, but I'm glad for you. Then she started walking away. Piper stood back looking at her.

Piper turned around and went straight to the phones, she stood in line. And when it was her turn, she called Larry, he picked up right away. Piper, I have missed you so much. Piper was still for a moment. Piper? Larry said, sounding a bit concerned. Piper took her breathe, than she said the words she had known in her heart a long time. Larry, I'm not the girl you think I am, I have tried to be, and for a while I thought I was. But I know now I can never be her again. You made me happy Larry, and I loved you, I still do. But I don't heart you. Larry was quiet. Piper decided she hung up, and walked slowly away. She hurt inside, she hurt bad, she had to crouch down not to fall. She cried a lot, and a guard told her to get up, but she couldn't. The guard, Mendez thought she was being drifty and started walking towards her. Red rushed over and picked her up before he could reach her. That was a tough thing you did there kid, you might not be so bad after all. Piper sobbed as Red pulled her with her, and almost dragged her to her bed. Piper didn't know what to do with herself. She had really loved Larry, and they had a good life together, but she knew deep down that it would never be enough. Not now that Alex had made her remember what she could feel. She knew Alex didn't want her anymore, and at the same time as she was mad about it, she also understood why. Piper decided to not tell her about Larry, this was hers to carry, and she would deal with it. Piper Chapman needed to grow up.

*****To be continued******


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

Piper laid in her bed thinking about the days advents. She had gotten 2 more months in prison, Piper couldn't quite process this at the moment. She felt numb somehow, she had cried so much, so hard and she felt empty. At first she had not quite been able to figure out why she got so upset, but it was more clear now. She didn't just say goodbye to Larry, whom she actually loved a lot, just no enough. But she also had said goodbye to the life she had dreamt off, all of their plans for the future. Piper had worked hard to become the nice white girl she dreamt of being. So she cried, she cried for her, for Larry and for lost dreams. But now as she started to calm down, she started to feel lighter. Her mind felt blank, and it felt really good. Piper decided to just let herself feel sad for a while, she would let it take it's time, and then she would start to build a new future for herself. Piper sobbed a bit again, she would be strong this time.  
She laid on her back thinking of Alex, she thought about one time when she and Alex had been together for about a year. They were in Spain together, in a small place called Torrevieja. She had really loved this place, the Spanish people was different from the Hispanic, they were less aggressive, and much more including. One night as they had been sitting down at their private beach, just the two of them. Alex had given her this look, a look Piper had not seen before, she almost looked insecure, and Piper had asked what it was. Alex had just shook her head as if she couldn't speak, afterwards they had made intense love. Alex had kissed her, and held her hard, she had touched every inch of Piper's body, and said several times that Piper was hers. Piper had thought about this time in Spain many times since. Alex had for the first and almost the only time in their relationship seemed vulnerable. And Piper had felt whole and happy in every inch of her body after they had made love. And she remembered thinking that she would spend all of her life loving Alex, making sure she would never be alone.  
She decided to go for a run before the court closed.

Alex felt that her mind couldn't take it no more. She had noticed Piper going straight for the phones after coming from Caputo, she had felt hurt by this. She was running to call fucking Larry at once after her privileges was given back. Fuck, why would she do this to herself, Alex was mad at herself, fuck Vause get a grip! She walked towards "the suburbs" when she could hear Poussey and Taystee talking. What's up with whitey now? She cries like someone has died! Alex walked in a slower pace, she understood right away it was Piper they were talking about. Oh, so now Larry had given her the shoe again, and she laid there crying her eyes out. Alex felt so mad she almost felt her heart burst through her chest. Why the fuck had she had to meet Piper, why couldn't she just have let her stand there at the bar by herself. Fuuuuuck, Alex felt trapped, she needed to get out. She took her coat and went outside. She walked and walked, cursing loud to herself. When suddenly she heard this noise, what the fuck. Alex walked almost run to the noise, and as she past the corner of the tool house, there it was. The good damn fucking chicken. Alex couldn't believe it, it was real, the chicken really existed! She just stood still, watching it, and somehow it calmed her down. What the fuck Vauseman, you're losing it she said ironically to herself and pushed her glasses up on her head, she started walking back.  
Alex decided she would go running again, it would be good for her body, and her mind.  
When she got to the court she was there alone, except a guard of course. She laid her jacket down and started running. This time so didn't feel so tired after three laps and felt she could just go on.

Piper walked towards the court, she had her eyes held down at the ground, she didn't want anyone to see she had cried. She wasn't aware how her surroundings at all actually, she was couldn't help but thinking more and more of her past with Alex. Piper realized that since she had worked so hard to be someone else, she had never dared to think much about hers and Alex life together. She had never dared to opened the "box" with where she had tried to burry all of her feelings for Alex.  
Who they had been together, and what they had ment for each other.  
Piper reached the track almost without realizing she was there. She took of her coat, when she suddenly noticed she was not alone. She gazes up, Alex, Alex was there running. Piper almost had to laugh, this was something she had never thought she would see. Alex had obviously noticed her before Piper noticed her. She tried not to look Piper in the eyes, but Piper could see she had a hard time. Piper decided she would take this opportunity to be near Alex, she waited until Alex had to pass her, then she started running beside her. Alex seemed to not know what to do about this, so they just continued to run quietly together. Piper felt more at ease that she had in a long time, Alex Vause had this effect on her, she almost made her feel so safe.

Alex couldn't quite believe what was happening, Piper had come to the track, waited for her and now they were jogging shoulder to shoulder. Alex felt her insides burn, she felt so at ease, and still her blood burst through her vains with such a power, she was afraid she would have a heart attack.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Alex stood in the showers, she still couldn't rap her head around what had just happened. After running together until Alex couldn't manage another lap, and believe, she had tried. Piper had given her a half crazy Piper look, the look only Piper could pull off, and still be sexy.  
Alex could still feel her presence in her body and now all she wanted was more.  
She wanted Piper with every cell of her body, she wanted her so bad.

Piper went to her bunk, she sat down on her bed smiling. Smiling like she had not done in a long time. Feeling Alex so close had made her feel so alive, she could still feel it in her heart.  
Piper wondered what made it be like this with her and Alex, would she ever feel this way about anyone else. She had read that some philosphers said that each soul was molded in a double form, so they all had a twin. And when this two twin souls met, there was nothing that could keep them apart.  
Piper didn't know if she believed this, but it sure could feel like it sometimes.  
Piper headed for the showers.  
There were little people her now, since it was late and most inmates were either playing games or watching TV.  
Piper took a quick shower, then headed for her bunk before lights out.  
And as she lay there in bed, she started thinking about her time with Alex again, and she could feel something was different. She could think back and feel happiness, before she had always felt a sting of pain when her mind suddenly involuntary took a trip back in time.  
Now she found herself laying in bed, enjoying herself, and feeling a small piece of happiness just thinking about their past together. She found herself thinking a lot about how they were as a couple, and their dynamics. Alex had always been the leader, the strong one. And Piper had always let her take care of her, and be the dominant one. As Piper laid there she realized that as much as she loved Alex taking care of her, she knew that they needed to be more equals.

Alex didn't sleep much, she just laid there looking in the ceiling, thinking about life in general. Her life in general. Her friends, her work, how she had led her life. She came to realize she was glad Piper had left her, what if she had destroyed Piper, made her mule for her, or even worse, get her tangled up in drugs. Alex felt scared and out of it just by the thought. She wished she had led a different life, what did money, travel and champagne mean if you had no one to share it with. Sure she had been with many woman since Piper, she didn't have any trouble in that department. But no one could make her so vulnerable and at the same time utterly happy as Piper could. And as she laid there she suddenly realized that life was short. Life could be taken away from you in a swift of a moment. It was really the strangest thing, how could anyone afford to waste time being mad or any other shit. When in fact, we had so little time here. Alex felt a little odd, it wasn't often in her life she had taken time to think about this things in life. The last time was when she was with Piper, and suddenly found herself thinking about the future, a future together. When Piper left she ruined Alex in some way, she shut everything off, and she became even a harder shell than she had before. Piper was the only one who could make her vulnerable. Her kryptonite, so to speak. How nerdy of a thing was that to say, Alex decided to never say that out loud!

Next morning at breakfast Nicky could notice a difference in the air, she looked at Alex, she was sitting there looking eyes with Piper. What now, she thought. Are the non-lesbians at it again? Nicky felt a sting of jealousy, she envied them this connection. It was obvious to everyone who could see them together that they were ment to be. Strange how they all the time managed to fuck it up. Nicky glanced over at Morello, she was sitting there talking about Roma, how she wanted to go there. She was so found of her, but still she had this place in her dreaming about the two of them together when they got out. Nicky tilted her head, she was truly fucked up herself, so why not. Couple of the year, druggy lesbian and straight bride to be/ mysterious Italian crazy woman.

During work hours Piper felt restless, she had her mind set on Alex. She was sent out to fix the lights in the chapel. Luschek gave her a cross eyed, half drunken look and said to wake him up when she came back. Piper took her tool belt and headed over. In the hallway she came across Bennet and Daya, something was definitely not good with them. Piper had heard she was pregnant with him or Mendez, but she didn't really believe it. Either way, she had enough with her own shit at the moment.

Piper walked towards the broken light over the scene, wondering how to fix this, she didn't know the first thing about electricity. She was lost in own thoughts as she heard this deep sexy voice behind her; I want to do to you what spring does to cherry threes, only in a prison way. Piper could hear the emotions in her voice, but also the laughter. She turned around and looked straight into Alex eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Piper felt her heart doing loops in her chest. It was really Alex standing there. Piper just stared and stared, until Alex finally broke the silence. Do I look that much of a mess to you, that you just have to stare at me like that. Piper cracked a half crooked smile, you can do to me as spring does to any kind of tree she said. Bringing Alex's face to a smile almost all the way around. Piper had to fight her urge to throw herself at Alex, but she figured since Alex hadn't made a move yet, it was best to wait. She couldn't get her eyes off her, she was so gorgeous, with that sexy smile, and those glasses tiltet half way down her nose. As if Alex could read her mind, she pushed the glasses back in place. The silence fell over them again, not an awkward silence, a silence with a thousand words lying there between them.  
Piper felt almost dizzy, Alex noticed and led her over to the scene, they both sat down and Alex carefully took Pipers hand, and intervened their fingers until they were locked together. Piper felt a tear fall down her cheek as she looked over at Alex. But she couldn't see her face, Alex was looking down at their fingers, Piper felt she maybe she was hiding her face, so that Piper wouldn't see it. They sat like this for quite some time, Piper didn't dare to say anything, she was so afraid that Alex would leave and the moment to be over.

Finally Alex spoke, Piper held her breathe, all she could think about was feeling her soft lips against hers, feeling her warm body pressing up against her. Piper had to concentrate to hear what Alex was saying, all she could see was those lips.  
I haven't forgiven you, and I don't trust you she said, Piper felt her heart sink to her stomach. But I can't be without you, I can't lay awake at night knowing you are so close and not being around you. You are the one for me Piper Chapman, and I can't do anything about that, but I need you not to break my heart again. I need you to not fuck me over again, because I don't think I could get through it.  
Piper could feel her own heart breaking, she knew Alex was right as she said this to her, and Piper knew she loved her. All this was a bit new to them, Alex had always been the one in control. Piper had always been the insecure, vulnerable one. Piper could get a word out, she just swallowed and swallowed, squeezing Alex's hand so hard that Alex gave her a strange look. After a while all Piper could say was I won't. She knew it wasn't going to be enough, but for now it was all she had. She wasn't prepared for this, and she really wanted to think through what she said to Alex, and she needed to be sure, that all the Larry shit were over.

She couldn't let Alex suffer through anymore of her shit. Piper smiled at Alex and she moved towards her, clenching her body tight against her, and she couldn't hold back anymore. She found those soft lips, and they kissed, a hungry kiss, a kiss that said more than a thousand words. Piper had lost track of all time and place when she heard someone cough discretely. She had to pull herself away, it was sister Ingalls. Now you to girls I think you have to take it somewhere else, 'cause Caputo is coming with the chaplan. Piper and Alex looked at each other, and smiled, both a kind of shy smile. Like this was their first time dating. Alex said a bit clumsy and shy goodbye, and walked out. Piper just sat there looking after her, still in shock over what had just happened.

She stood up with her tool belt, just in time before Caputo came in, she mimed thank you to sister Ingalls, whom just smiled and nodded at her.  
What are you doing here Chapman, Caputo said when he got in. He looked around, as if he was expecting to see anyone else. Piper pointed at the broken lamp, Luschek sent me sir. Ahh, I see, well get to it then inmate, Caputo said looking at her over his glasses. Piper hurried against the scene and the broken lamp. Piper couldn't concentrate at all about the lamp, she was just smiling, couldn't hold it back. Caputo looked at her as if she was crazy, she hoped he wouldn't ask her what it was. But it seemed like he decided not to bother, he probably filed it under more crazy woman behavior.

Alex headed back to the laundry, she had been heading back from the doctors office, where she had been to get her eyes checked, when she had seen Piper go into the chapel. With many good memories fresh in her mind from that place, and a crazy urge to just rap her arms around Pipers thin body, she couldn't help herself. She followed Piper into the chapel.  
And now as she was walking towards the laundry room, all she could do was smile. Her Piper, she had kissed her and it had felt so good. She had wanted to ask more, say more, but she was so afraid of the answers. If Piper told her she was still in love with Larry, and that she would marry him after all, Alex couldn't bare the thought. For the first time in her life Alex admitted to herself that she wanted to be with Piper for ever, not for some years while things were easy and funny. No she wanted more, she needed more, she needed a life. A life with Piper, but it had to be her Piper, not Larrys Piper.

After dinner, which had been spent by Alex and Piper looking at each other like two teens in love for the first time, and of course Nicky shaking her head cracking some wiseass jokes about it, Piper walked over to Alex's bunk. She felt so nervous, like she was fourteen again, sneaking out. Alex was laying there just looking up in the air. Piper stopped, remembering what had happened last time she was here. Alex looked up at her, she smiled, well Ms Vampire, you need an invitation today to. Piper smiled and walked slowly over to Alex's bed. She smiled shyly and sat down, Alex pulled her closer, she was still the dominant strong one of them. Piper leaned in close to Alex, and felt like she could sit like this forever. After a while Alex starting stroking her hand, playing with her fingers, and Piper could feel a desire like only Alex could make her feel. She felt her whole body tensing up, and started rubbing up against Alex, she could hear her breathing heavy also. The sparks between them flying. Nicky came in, and turned around almost immediately. Dear lord you to got chemistry, what are you dry fucking each other or what. You know everybody can see you to love each other, so just fix it alright! She said leaving the room smiling.

********Thank you very much for your reviews, I really appreciate them!:)************


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